No Such Nonsense

A little of this, that and... what was I talking about again? It's TV, sports, pop culture and politics - all the stuff that really matters in life.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Showdown in Dallas

It's Terrell Owens vs.... Jessica Simpson?

Seriously, this is the big feud of the week? After calling Jeff Garcia gay and suggesting that basically any quarterback, especially a white one, would be an improvement over Donovan McNabb, TO has set his sights on the decidedly down-market starlet.

In case you missed it, Jessica is currently desperately fame-whoring her relationship with Dallas quarterback Tony Romo, having been unceremoniously dumped by John Mayer and discovering that Johnny Knoxville will no longer return her phone calls. On Sunday, she showed up in a private box for the Dallas-Philly game, only to watch her new man play the worst game of his professional career, stats-wise and lose the game. (For those interested in Romo's previous worst outing, well that would be when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood showed up to watch him play).

Joe Buck definitely noticed Jessica was there, in the creepiest 'hey-check-out-the-hot-chick' commentary I've witnessed in a long time, Buck suggested to Troy Aikman that the best thing about being a Dallas quarterback would be the opportunity to nail Jessica Simpson. Aikman didn't seem to agree.

And what does Owens, who had only a handful of balls thrown in his direction on Sunday, several of which ended up in the hands of Eagles defenders, have to say about Simpson, Romo and the Cowboys?

"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favourite - in this locker-room or in Texas Stadium."

Classy. He went on: "Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."

Way to make it all about TO! Love it.

But not as much as I love this, which was about the funniest thing I read all week:

"FOX has shown Jessica Simpson roughly 217 times in the last five minutes. She's in a luxury box wearing one of those pink jerseys ... the way Romo's playing, he might as well be wearing one, too. If he finds it difficult to perform when she's around, it's going to be a detriment to both the Dallas Cowboys, and to Jessica Simpson's chances at sexual gratification."

All of this really leaves me with one question: Is moving from Carrie Underwood to Jessica Simpson trading up? Or trading down?


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