No Such Nonsense

A little of this, that and... what was I talking about again? It's TV, sports, pop culture and politics - all the stuff that really matters in life.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Tuna Does Not Care For Dancing

So, Bill Parcells is a pretty quirky guy. One of the best coaches in the history of football, Parcells is now EVP of Football Operations for the Miami Dolphins. As a coach, Parcells led the New York Giants to two Superbowl wins and led the Pats, Jets and Cowboys to the playoffs but not to the big win. Along the way, he gained a reputation as prickly and quixotic. If a player was one of 'his guys' - a hard-working tough guy with little to say - then he could do no wrong. If a player wasn't one of 'his guys'? Well, welcome to the deep freeze.

Seems it's a bit cold in Miami these days. And the target of Parcells' chilly wrath? None other that the single best player to play for the Dolphins in the last decade (if we pretend Zack Thomas doesn't exist) - NFL Man of the Year, 2006 Defensive Player of the Year, current twinkle toes, Jason Taylor.

Seems Taylor, after 11 seasons in the league is starting to think about his future - and he thinks he sees it in Hollywood. Taylor wants to be The Rock (or, failing that, Howie Long). And the first step to that Hollywood career was a stop at Dancing with the Stars, where he finished second to total ringer Kristi Yamaguchi. On the show, Taylor proved himself to be less of a dancer than Emmitt Smith, but better than Jerry Rice. Not so bad over all. He was charming. He was funny. He was desperately trying to appear manly in sequins (though being a 6'6" defensive end doesn't hurt there). All was good in the world.

But not with the Tuna. Seems Taylor didn't clear the dancing stint with his boss. And making the finals meant missing Dolphins voluntary workouts this spring. The Tuna is not pleased. So when Taylor popped into southern Florida for a visit, Parcells gave him the patented freeze-out. Taylor got pissed and now it seems all but certain Taylor will follow Thomas to play for someone else this year.

So Miami finished 1-15 last year and this what they think their big problem is? Taylor is late to class? Not even class - early morning voluntary tutoring! That's their problem? Not the fact that they have to choose a quarterback from amongst a rookie second-rounder, a second-year second-rounder and Josh McCown?


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