No Such Nonsense

A little of this, that and... what was I talking about again? It's TV, sports, pop culture and politics - all the stuff that really matters in life.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

How to be the Most Hated Woman in Britain

Oh, Heather Mills.

How must it feel to be so vilified by so many? To marry a beloved Beatle (the cute one, or so I've read) just a little too soon after the death of his age-appropriate first wife and the sad end of one of the most famous and enduring love stories in music. In 25 years of marriage, Paul and his wife Linda spent just one week apart - that came when he was briefly in jail on drug charges (note to self: leave the bong at home when traveling to Japan). The Linda legacy was a lot to live up to - unless you count her singing in Wings. Okay, so maybe legacy is a stretch. But she wasn't Yoko, so Linda was not an easy act to follow.

At first, it seemed Heather had the goods. With a sympathetic story (a former model, she had one leg amputated after an accident) and hard work on the charity front (picking up on Princess Diana's campaign against landmines), Heather seemed like she could rise above the fray. Surely she could disprove the gold-digger accusations that arose from the more than 25-year difference in their ages. Oh, and the lack of a pre-nup. And that Stella and the other kids reportedly hated her.

Now, after 4 years and a child together, the marriage is kaput. And if Heather thought the British media and Paul's fans hated her before, oh man, is she in for a shock. Last week, the Daily Mail published leaked documents that claim Heather was abused by a cold, uncaring, drug-addled McCartney.

Okay. Let me be absolutely clear. It is never okay to hit. It is especially never okay to hit your spouse. Domestic violence is every kind of wrong. Yet somehow, reading the reports, inevitably accompanied by photos of Heather looking sourpussed as always, I had a very wrong thought. All that came to mind was the episode of The Simpsons in which Sideshow Bob is up for parole. To wit:

Selma: "Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon."
Bob's lawyer: "How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?"
A few spectators raise their hands.
Bob's lawyer: "Be honest."
Many more hands go up. Even Selma's sister Patty raises her hand: "Aw, she's always leaving the toilet seat up."

Very, very wrong, I know. But so is leaking hateful allegations that someday your child will read, just so you can get a few million more in the settlement. But no-one would do that, right?


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